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Aya Hijazi  A brief bio:
21 years old, from Ramallah city in the Palestinian occupied territories. Aya is an international student in the U.S., majoring in Sociology and Anthropology, with a minor in Rhetoric studies.
Art in all its forms is a progressive movement that is grasping the success of a new revolution that I believe to be part of. With the rise of oppression, victimization and more corruptive powers all over the world, in my minds eye the revolution I foresee is working its way up through grassroots movements, and this time its calling for innate mental and spiritual consciousness through the power of the youth. The weapon is their talents, art, music, words and solidarity in sharing all of that, seeking autonomy.
I think of these conventions away from violence and away from sacrificing through death, but using other means that after all become beneficial for all. The more people understand the notion of power and the corruption it condones, the more they are eligible for some form of awareness that will make them content with the imperfections of what they do and how they fight for their rights; the commonality of our cause and ideas is stimulating enough to encourage us to continue
For recreational and expressive purposes, I tried different forms of art, as a child I started with dancing -still a passion- later, I did some sketching, practiced the harmonica for a short period of time, tried photography, and found my self most comfortable with decorating my ideas through words. Between my own culture and how I developed my identity right now, between Arabic and English, Middle Eastern beats, Hip Hop and everything that comes in between, I created my own script and my own third space.
My infinite fragmented collage of writings serves a comprehensive medium to my thoughts and my historical narrative in relation to people around me but to the abstract notion of life.
Below are a few selections of Aya's works. | A DIALOGUE IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL 16/12/2007
On an early evening, at 8:05 pm, the doctors want to stop working with those mentally disabled people, tired of deviance they force the patients to sleep,
Two men in room X0 (insane man no.1 and insane man no.2) talk as they each lay in bed
- [sigh] Man, we’ve been here for a long time don’t you think?
- Even with my utmost gravity for this place, I’ve been here enough not to even blink
Don’t belittle their silence,
They are rethinking deviant social contrivance
They continue…
-what’s your favorite color?
-my apologies, I have to whisper the answer
They might hear us
But it’s that of obsolete anarchy and chaos
They pause again, as one gets up and looks at the small window on the metal door
Puts his hands on the metal bars
And makes noises of running cars
They continue…
-Those millions out there, they all contrive with their expectations of a utopia
- Whose they? Those people with the white jackets who think we suffer insomnia?
- Yes them, but I don’t hold resentment; it’s what you call “theatrical justice”
I mean, day and night, for those creatures out there, this shit makes a difference
- I see…I guess your right; I’m not in the mood anyway to hold grudges
Loud sighs as they loosely open their arms and fly a fake plane
They continue…
- What are you chewing on?
- Some medication the doctor shoved it in my mouth and said “here you go son”
-I hate those small things. They take me to a different realm. One that I can understand too much and I really don’t want nuthin to do with that stuff
-tell me about it, the expectations in that world are way too rough
- Maybe we can make a change for them; help them with an ultimate revelation
-good idea, at least we have the unique ability to make something more with fantasy than just an allusion
They giggle as one of them climbs up the chair and changes the time on the clock
He then steps down
They continue…
- Have you heard the word they labeled us with yesterday?
- “Insane” is that what you mean to say
- Yes, and then what’s weirder is that they left after that and went to pray
- Wow, I’m quite dazzled; don’t those creatures know that a comprehended god is not a god?
And then they call us crazy and insane
-I’m with you brother, I find that to be pretty lame
One of them makes a feather from a small piece of paper and walks to another sleeping insane man and tickles his ear with it
The man makes a slight move but doesn’t wake up
He sighs, walks back
They continue…
- Today they took me to this room, with some technologically developed equipment
- It is my belief that they call that a lab of “normal fulfillment”
There, they stigmatize you
They give us a doze of ultimate renovation
And assume that you will be more aware of their common truth
-anyway, when I left that room, I saw this woman
- A woman? I’m curious to hear this
But be careful; keep your voice low,
If they hear you speak of romance,
They will call you a villain
- She was listening to music…
- Nice, nice, was it heavy metal or acoustic?
- I’m not sure; really not sure, I think it was rock
- I wanted to ask her to slow dance, but I hesitated and walked away with my one sock
- hesitated? Why?
- Well if it was rock and I asked her to slow dance, it would provoke some controversy
- Your right, I forgot that these creatures are not more than morons of social normalcy
- Exactly it’s like one of those things,
If I love her and date her,
What do I buy for her?
A Barbie or a raiser?
- A raiser? It would flip the sexes upside down; it’ll create crisis and confusion
They say that a boy and a girl have different interests,
Giving her a joker would be the solution
- I bet you they won’t even predict it
-I can get her a raiser, a clock and a joker and sit her next to a palm tree
- You can also develop sentiments of threat to ideological direction
If you did all of this for free
- They won’t take us seriously anyway,
Were just bugs to them with mental misdeeds
-but wait, let us think about this for real…
- Real?
They both smile, pause for a few seconds as hold themselves from laughing real loud
They continue…
- Why are we trying to create another story?
I mean all these things they talk about, people, sex and money
A referendum for glory
-It’s all ludicrous my brother, I wish we can introduce ideas of autonomy
- Live in a city with no uniforms, and no cops
an island of universes where everything is…is…
-flipped upside down?
- Yes….
What’s the difference anyway, why do they all frown?
- If I crawl or walk, scream or bark?
No matter what they will call me a clown
-To them each of us is just another psychopath with an isolated expression
But I truly wonder how it would feel like to fall into their mindset of depression
No.1 sighs again and starting eating his nails
Stops, opens the window and spits it out
Closes the window
They continue…
- Have you heard of a concept called vagina dentate?
- Yeah man, I read it in a book about vigilante
But why do you ask?
- Nothing, I’ve thinking of it, it seems I’ve just started on a new addictive task
- Tell me a little more, take your heart out and put it on the ground
- Hush, I hear them walking, don’t make too much sound
-I just think this idea is more daggering then a carving sharp knife
- I can imagine, if I ever get married, I don’t wana find that in my wife
- No I’m just saying, what if there was a vagina out there with sharp teeth
The vagina man, a beautiful monster that maneuvers your penis and then makes it a feast
No.1 takes of his pants and stares adequately at his crotch
Nods his head
They continue…
- But I say that’s a good runaway from sodomy
- A woman in charge of her body making it a monopoly
-it’s better than a sexual predator who is also a priest
-a vagina having teeth is not more harmful than the penis of a beast
No.1 crawls under his bed and takes out a small radio, opens it up and takes out a bag of uncooked rice, starts munching on it
They continue
the other day I heard this guy say he is a judge
A judge?
Indeed. You know those people that speak of law enforcement, order and such
They claim not more than an obsolete expedience
I am a judge…don’t you dare stare…I mean it
I am a judge, a judge
I keep those toys in their beds all day and order a cup of fudge
I ask people not to interrupt me and if they don’t listen
I throw at them a ball of sludge
I am a juggalo
A soldier
A sword
A farm kind of Buffalo
- You are what you are
With our magic spell we create a pink star
We have resided in this mental institution
A result of medical force and social exclusion
We are different
And to them not at all capable or well
We sacrifice insanity for logic
They panic with anxiety and right away ring the bell
It’s very unfortunate, that’s all I can really tell
Let’s forget about this and carry on as abnormal performers
Lets be the Lunatics and pilots in front of them reporters
Of this inside truth we do not speak
And outside this metal bar again
I dare not to ever peak
They both get tired
They don’t care to stay up though
Its not like anyone is gona want them to get hired
They can’t continue anymore …
They both go to sleep
| VIBRANT LESSONS 18/12/2007
Here I go again, another drop of an unforgettable tale
It’s just too sad, that I am loosing drastically as I try to race time
I had a brief emotional outburst yesterday
My brain was squeezing out pieces of my heart
Like droplets of liquid seasoning
Spicing up the flavor of my water
I see crystals as they fall into a botanical garden
I wait patiently as the night falls asleep
The astronomical phenomenon continues to spin
The light unveiling its ability
Stimulating the invigorating vision of sunrise
The comics from a book rip their own laughter into the fortress of sun
I see the frozen fog as it widens its horizons into the waves
I have been captured by moments
I have written about them
But I have not reckoned the thought that they will leave me
Impressed by powerful recognition of a human sphere
Creating relationships as they ride
Fast cars on highways
Millions of them
Accomplishments to imperil the world of knowledge and deeds
How foolish
To think that this place consisted of only one second between the pages
Unaware of its importance
Now I know that I will remember it for ages
Insignificant to my growth?
I was wronged by the duties of my mistakes
By the failures of my last waging war
Plagued
But I have succeeded
A script on another page is what this place has offered
To teach me of my acts
And the extra step I choose to take
To look close at the land of the unknown
Collapsing mysteries and crouching figures
My own inherent strangeness has become my friend
You sit like a calm Buddha
So gracefully meditating as I learn of myself, of my truth
An aroma of spirituality
An exotic orgasm of sexual healing
I became aware of the devotion I breathe
Within my own consciousness
Stemming from roots of nature
To routes of nurture
Curious and Vibrant
I make a request
I ask to hear your history that created you
I ask to hear it all
I ask to listen to how you missed some
But picked up from a fall
I ask to know the little things that make you happy
A little more about what makes you proud
And some more about what you like
Something I want to gather about the mediums you enter that makes your face so bright
I can spend all day
Embracing your power
And testify
The potential that you have
Making you the most gorgeous male I’ve seen
Eloquent and effective
My thoughts about you when you leave
Magic put on the spotlight
Music, questions, words flowing
We eagerly offer a request
To the things that yet need to be learned
Others noticed, so much
A compilation of my virtual needed emotions
Can I understand the wave of this sweet influence that we taste?
A breath becomes one
A moment is frozen
A sound of silence replenishes us like mad
An eye to an eye
I feel like a gypsy stealing the beats of dances in the vine
You are like a hero drinking a glass of old classic wine
Leaving your tongue tainted with the color of your words to me
My ears intuitively repeating your voice
We are playing the piano
Creatively learning how to make notes
Movin ahead
I don’t dare to think of a greater momentum
In a greater discourse of sensuality
I want to give you all my cards
All my signs of ignorance
I can trade you for some of your wisdom
Connected atoms in the air
Endorsing the gravity of your being
The intensity of your vision
Bring about serenity and peace
A lesson to the unfamiliar
An exploration to the mental makeup
Is welcomed
A CULTURAL LEXICON OF MODERNITY 9/12/2007
Law and order is where I can start this weird poem
It is all about the segregation platform of “us” versus “them”
In my mind’s eye, I will talk to you my universal community
My audience and my judges, the parents of my intellectual ability
I want to tell you about liberal governance
This ugly social contract of sophistication, and its failed abundance
Sociology is my major
A revelation of my own idiosyncrasies is what I have to offer
I learned about advanced liberalism
And from the ideas that comes to mind,
is death and the unprotected notion of terrorism
The power of the gaze, spectatorship and paranoia
Leaving you with the inherent nature of voyeurism
Creeping concerns in the erosion of agency
is where many theorists are finding transparency
The question of power
A dominion through oversight
I can see many with the qualities it takes to start a fight
But with all the possibilities of subjectivity, comes the anxiety and fright
Crime becomes a main function of deviation
Between order and disruption
A symbolic ghetto of an unattached eruption
Fears of powerlessness and the choice of abrogation
The power of the gaze becomes the main tool of dehumanization and corruption
I can’t even come close to truly start expressing
Ah how much of the segregation, discrimination and alienation I am currently resenting
You think you can call me the “uncivil”, the “primitive”, the “inferior”
I laughed when you also identified with me as the “other”
With my passion, blood and every other sister and brother
I can destroy your sovereign nation like no other
This is my aesthetic to you
A branch of philosophy dealing with notions of beauty, the ugly, the sublime and the comic
On dictionary.com is how I got it
Even with your fabrication of modern thought and media cultures
You will meet serious resistance and collapsing structures
Even if you protract a war in the name of reorganization of space
The concept of empathy is nothing we will offer for you to face
No matter how intentional it becomes to build a wall of estrangement and symbolic distance
You are nothing but a mediocre
That will end up in symbolic hell as your place
Try to displace me
Try to create an imagination of suffering
What is it that you’re saying?
“A part of a democratic process”, oh how enlightening!
Let me try this again
Maybe this time
I can enlighten your brain
Precision of knowledge can’t help you define justice
It is a relative concept and if you seek it, you will end up with a social malice
Let me try to inform you once again that none of us are sinful
So fuck you and fuck your religion
This burdened institution that needs a lot of conscious revision
This is not even the last of the infinite things I can say
The cool part about it, is that even if you try, I will never ask for your permission
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